Puberty In Girls
Puberty is defined as the time in life when a girl becomes sexually mature. You can expect this process to happen between the ages of 10 and 14 for girls and ages 12 and 16 for boys. It causes physical and emotional changes and affects boys and girls differently. Puberty in girls is an exciting yet also alienating time. They become much more aware of their body and their appearance as well as the opposite sex. They also become much more independent through puberty, often causing them to find new ways to express themselves and act out against their parents. I have compiled a short guide of what to expect during puberty in girls both physically and emotionally as well as a few tips to help them through this strange and exciting time.
Puberty In Girls: Physical Changes
Breast Development
The earliest sign of puberty in girls is usually the development of breast "buds," coin-sized bumps under the nipple. It is important to note that it isn’t unusual for breast growth to start on one side before the other. It's also common for breast buds to be somewhat tender or sore, particularly during the initial stages. Uneven breast growth and soreness are both totally normal and usually improve with time.
Body Hair
Coarser hair will begin to grow in the genital area, under the arms, and on the legs. In some girls (about 15%), pubic hair may be the first sign of puberty in girls―showing up before breast budding starts. Girls care a lot more about their appearance at this age so may want to immediately start shaving, although it is important to note that all body hair is completely natural and they should only shave or wax if they want to.
Before giving them a razor, show them how to use it properly and avoid skin irritation and cuts, which can become infected. Some tips:
Wet the skin & use lotion or gel. Shaving dry skin can scratch and irritate it. It may be easiest to shave in the shower or bathtub when the skin is already wet. Shaving gel, lotion, or cream acts as a buffer on the skin and can help avoid cuts.
Use light pressure. Pressing too hard on the razor could shave off some of the skin. Use extra care around the knees and ankles to avoid nicking the skin.
Replace the razor or its blade often. A dull blade is more likely to tug, scrape and irritate the skin.
Don't share razors. Sharing a razor can spread bacteria such as Staphylococcus aureus and cause skin infections.
Electric razors. Some electric razors are designed specifically for girls. These may be less likely to cut the skin, although they can still cause irritation.
Vaginal Discharge
Some girls experience a small to moderate amount of clear or white vaginal discharge that starts about 6-12 months before their first period. This is a normal response to growing amounts of the hormone estrogen in the body and nothing to be embarrassed about. If your daughter has expressed concern about the amount of vaginal discharge she is producing, you could suggest using panty-liners which are specifically designed for helping in this department.
Periods
We all remember our first period; the mad dash to the toilet, stuffing loo roll in our knickers and asking our mum to buy us pads because we were too embarrassed. It doesn’t have to be this chaotic though, preparation is key. While timelines can vary, most girls get their first period within 2 – 3 years after the development of breast buds. The average age for girls to get their first period in the United Kingdom is around age 12-13 years old (I started mine at 15 and my best friend at 9 so there really is no “normal” time for a period to start). It is important to talk with your daughter about how periods are a completely normal part of puberty in girls and openly encourage an active discourse with them around the subject. Some young people may have anxiety about how to handle their first period, given that it can happen unexpectedly. Providing supplies (pads, tampons, and pantiliners) for your child's locker or backpack and reviewing resources at school, including the school nurse, can help alleviate this worry. Don’t be caught off guard like I was!
Some girls will have bright red blood with their first period, other girls may only have spotting with red-brown discharge, both are totally normal! While some people will have periods once a month, periods may be irregular in the first few years as the body adapts to rapid physiological changes. Also, normal cycles of periods can be as short as 21 days or as long as 3o, so even people with regular cycles might not have a period every single month. There are many free apps such as Flo that are great at tracking your period and managing your symptoms, and I would highly recommend downloading them if you want to know when it’s coming so you can plan your time accordingly.
Abdominal cramping or pain with periods is also very common. For most people, ibuprofen or paracetamol are used as needed and are the best medicines to help with period cramps. If menstrual cramps are severe or causing your child to miss school, talk to your paediatrician about other options. Menstrual cups are said to relieve cramping and are also much easier to insert than tampons and cheaper to buy. Seriously, why are tampons still so expensive?!
Increase In Height & Wider Hips
Most girls have their growth spurt at a younger age than boys do. The fastest rate of height growth usually occurs in girls between when breast buds start to develop and about 6 months before they get their period. Once a girl has had her first period, her growth has already started to slow down. Most girls grow another 1-2 inches after getting their period, but increased height beyond that is less common.
Chances are that during puberty in girls, the hips will get wider and her waist may get smaller. While this doesn’t always happen, it’s important to let your child know how normal this is as she may be feeling self-conscious about these changes.
As with all the above changes, it is important to keep an open line of dialogue between you and your child. They may not always feel like talking with you about these changes but it’s good for them to know you’re there for them if they need you.
Puberty In Girls: Emotional Changes
Feeling Overly Sensitive
Puberty in girls is a confusing time, hormones are running riot and their body is changing in ways they can’t control which may lead them to become uncomfortable or self-conscious. As a result, they may feel irritated quite easily, lose their temper or feel depressed. It will be useful to be aware of the changes in their behaviour and let them know that you are there for them to chat to if they wish.
Finding An Identity
Since they are in the process of becoming an adult, they may feel inclined to figure out what makes them unique as a person and one of the ways they do this is through associating themselves more with their friends than their family members. This may be because their friends are going through a similar phase to them. They may try to figure out how they are different from others and how they fit into the world. This may eventually lead to some sort of a struggle to become more independent of their parents and family.
Feeling Uncertain
Puberty in girls can potentially lead to uncertain thoughts and feelings. As a transition phase between childhood and adulthood, they may begin to wonder and think about new and unfamiliar aspects of life such as career, livelihood and marriage.
This uncertainty becomes more evident when the expectations that people close to them also change. They may be expected to take on greater responsibilities than what was expected from them as a child and navigating their way around these new roles may lead them to become more uncertain about themselves. They will soon grow into these roles, with a little help and assurance from their family and friends.
Peer Pressure
With the onset of puberty in girls, conversations with their friends are sure to increase. Their peer group are likely to be influenced by what they see around them in popular media and the culture that is represented through them. Girls may start to overthink the kind of clothes they wear and how it fits their body, the kind of language they use and their behaviour.
This pressure to fit in may be uncomfortable at times and will probably change their likes and dislikes. It is important to help them through this time of uncertainty but most importantly, to let them find their own sense of independence and self-identity. Only they can create this for themselves.
Mood swings
To add to the uncertainty and conflicting thoughts, they may also experience frequent and sometimes extreme changes in your mood. For example, sometimes your mood will swing from feeling confident and happy to feeling irritated and depressed in a short span of time. These frequent swings in how you feel are called mood swings. They may occur due to shifting levels of hormones in your body and other changes taking place during puberty, and are completely normal!
Getting Sexual Feelings & Thoughts
Puberty in girls is also the phase in which you develop sexual maturity. Sexual maturity is the stage of your life when your body is ready to have children. One aspect of sexual maturity is being curious about sex and also about the bodies of people that you are attracted to. With the onset of puberty, it is normal for both boys and girls to be sexually attracted to people that they would want to be more than 'just friends with.
They may also feel sexually excited by normal everyday activities such as reading a romantic novel or watching a romantic scene on television. These feelings are normal and there is nothing to feel guilty about. You may have many questions about sex and it is a good idea to talk to a mature adult (like your mother, doctor or a counsellor) with whom you're comfortable discussing sex. You should get your questions answered and should stay informed on safe sex.
