Separation Anxiety in Babies
If you’re the parent of an infant, be prepared as there might come a time when your baby starts to behave a little differently. This means he or she might be a bit clingier, become fearful of people, and/or cry when he or she is left alone. But don’t worry because separation anxiety in babies is a normal part of your little one’s development.
Separation anxiety in babies is a very common phase that almost all children go through. Also, it’s a completely normal part of the emotional development of your infant or toddler, and your little one will probably grow out of it at about 2 years old.
WHEN SEPARATION ANXIETY IN BABIES HAPPENS
For many babies, separation anxiety starts at around 8 months of age, but this phase can happen as early as when your baby is only 4 months old. This separation anxiety happens because, between the age of 4 to 7 months, babies experience object permanence, meaning they begin to realise that people and objects exist even when they can’t see them. In other words, when you leave the room, your baby will know that you’re not there anymore. But, even if your child knows that you still exist, without any understating of time, he or she will become upset because they can’t see and don’t know if you’re ever coming back. Afterwards, your baby’s reaction will be to cry or put up a fuss.
All children develop on their own timelines, but the separation anxiety phase typically peaks when a baby is between 10 months and 18 months old. It usually goes away during the last half of your baby’s second year. The length of the separation anxiety period may be affected by how you respond to certain situations. For example, if your response during a crying spell is to run and comfort your baby, he or she may learn that a crying fit will prevent you from leaving in the future. It’s natural for you to want to comfort your little one when he’s upset. Just be aware that how you react can influence how he responds in a similar situation later.
SOME SIGNS OF SEPARATION ANXIETY IN BABIES
During this phase, you can notice some signs of separation anxiety in babies such as:
Your baby gets tense around strangers, or even act shy around well-known people, like relatives and the babysitter.
Your little one cries or put up a fuss whenever you leave him or her with someone else or even every time you leave the room.
Likewise, when is put in the crib, your baby cries until you come back.
Additionally, in the middle of the night, your child often wakes up crying and searching for you.
HOW TO DEAL WITH SEPARATION ANXIETY IN BABIES AS A PARENT
These are some steps you can take to cope with separation anxiety in babies:
Time your leaves. If you need to leave, try to do so when your baby is more likely to feel calm, such as after naptime or after you’ve fed him. Your baby is more susceptible to separation anxiety when tired, hungry, or sick. If your baby is sick, try to spend as much time with him or her as possible.
Don’t make a big deal out of it. If you’ve handed your baby off to someone else, have this person create a distraction, whether it’s with a new toy, playing in front of a mirror, or even a bath. This is your chance to stay away for a bit.
Practice separation at home. Leave-taking is a lot easier when your baby initiates the separation, such as when he or she crawls into another room. When this happens, if it’s safe, instead of following your baby right away, wait a while. If you need to leave the room briefly (after making sure the room is safe for him or her to be in), tell your little one where you’re headed and when you’ll come back. If he or she cries after you’ve left, call them for comfort, but don’t return right away. Eventually, your baby will learn from this practice that nothing bad is going to happen if you leave his or her sight.
Create an exit ritual. If you need to drop your baby off at a sitter's or daycare, try not to just drop him or her off and rush out the door. Spend some time playing with them before slipping away. Reassure your baby that you will come back for them later in the day, citing a specific time: “I’ll be back after you eat lunch.”
Keep your promises. Make sure you return when you say you will. This helps develop your child’s trust and will help build his or her confidence that they can make it through the time spent apart.
Know that your baby will be OK. Remind yourself that your baby’s tears will subside after you leave. He or she will eventually turn their attention to the person with him or her.
SEPARATION ANXIETY IN BABIES AT NIGHT
If you notice separation anxiety in babies gets worse at night, there are also some tactics that can help avoid an exhausting situation:
Create a bedtime routine. Having one in place can make a difference because it can set your baby’s expectations by keeping to a consistent pattern.
Leave the nursery door open. Your baby might feel comforted knowing he or she can still hear you in the other room.
Give your baby a transitional object. Babies normally develop a consoling habit during this time: your baby may suck their thumb, rock back and forth, and/or stroke and hug an object. Ask your healthcare provider if it’s OK to give him or her a small blankie or a stuffed animal.
Don’t reward your baby’s behaviour. Try not to inadvertently reward your baby for calling for you in the middle of the night. You can check on him or her to make sure that they are not sick and doesn't need a diaper change, and verbally comfort them. Beyond that, don’t pick him or her up, take them back to bed with you, or turn on the light. Before leaving, encourage your baby to go back to sleep. If he or she continues to cry, you can comfort them for a little bit longer.
WHEN TO ASK FOR HELP WITH SEPARATION ANXIETY IN BABIES
If your little one is already in primary school, you’ve tried every tactic described above and he or she still show persistent signs of separation anxiety, it might be a good idea to visit a doctor. They will examine your child and see if there’s something else disguised as separation anxiety or he or she is just a little behind.
