Sleep Training Toddler
Sleep is often the last thing on a toddler’s mind. Why go to bed when being awake is so much more fun! This can be extremely exhausting for even the most seasoned caregiver, but it doesn’t have to be. You’ve probably heard of the “cry-it-out” method but there are many more effective sleep training methods that you should be aware of (that won’t involve your eardrums getting damaged)! I’ve listed a few of my favorites below so you’re sure to find something that works for even the most stubborn of toddlers.
Sleep Training Toddler: Rehearsal Method
If your toddler is transitioning from a crib to a bed then this will add a whole new element to their bedtime routine and can often be a daunting time for them. “Rehearsing” a new bedtime plan during the day can help both parents and toddlers who are anxious about making changes to their nightly routine. Here are a few tips for successful rehearsals:
Do a mini version of bedtime. I’m not saying you need to go through all the usual parts of brushing teeth and reading a bedtime story (although you can if you want), but do try to go through all the other steps of bedtime and your new sleep-training technique. Make sure to praise your child’s success like you would when it’s actually night time.
Make it fun. This one may be silly but it will undoubtedly help your toddler get more excited about going to sleep. You’ve got to act goofy and pretend to be the toddler and have them put you to bed. Bonus points if you get into your pajamas. The key is to make look as fun as possible so they start to believe that going to bed is something to be excited about!
Do it at least a few times per week. I know this may be a big ask for working parents, but the more you practice, the better it will go. It is totally fine if you’re only able to rehearse on the weekends.
Rehearse at least a few hours before bedtime. You don’t want to do this right before your toddler needs to go to sleep—that’s often already a strenuous time. Instead, do it in the morning or in the afternoon.
Sleep Training Toddler: Take A Break Method
This is one of the more gentle methods of sleep training and moreover, it has been proven to work. The secret behind any successful bedtime is to peel back your involvement by having your toddler deal with your absence for short periods of time, and then gradually increase that time. That is exactly what this method does. Firstly, you will need to have a rough idea of how long it takes your toddler to fall asleep after you turn the lights out. If they currently rely on you to be there with them in order for them to fall asleep, I’m sure you already have a pretty good idea. For example, if you turn off the lights at 7:30 p.m. and they fall asleep by 7:50 p.m., in the middle of that 20 minute period, leave the room to “take a break” just for a minute or two, and then return. Here is how it should go:
It is important to rehearse the whole process a few times during the day so that your toddler knows what to expect.
Carry out your regular bedtime routine, ending by saying this: “I love you. It’s time to go to sleep. Good night.” Then stay quietly in the room. Sleep training toddler is a process be patient
At 7:40 p.m., tell them that you’re taking a “quick break”. You’ll then leave the room and promise you’ll come back soon.
Return to their room in one minute and praise your child excessively, I’m talking an Oscar-worthy performance: “Look how grown-up you are! You stayed in bed and are so cozy! Super job!” Feel free to give them a cuddle and some kisses too.
Stay until they fall asleep. Repeat after me - I am Sleep training toddler genius, now pour a big glass of wine.
Do the same thing the next night, except leave the room for two minutes. The night after that, leave for three minutes. This incremental method will slowly increase their ability to be alone at night with the end goal being for them to fall asleep during one of your breaks. If/when they do, it is vital that you follow through on your word and return to their room.
Once your child falls asleep independently for a week (or you’re taking a 30-minute break), you can stop. Sleep training toddler mission complete.
Sleep Training Toddler: Camp It Out Method
This is another alternative if your child has just transitioned from your bed to their own bed. It is a simple approach but effective nevertheless and involves the following:
Put your child in their own bed, and then camp out in their room for a few nights on an air mattress.
Once your child is comfortable in their bed, move to sit in a chair near their bed, and then leave the room once they fall asleep.
Sit in the chair for a couple of nights, and on the third night, put your toddler to bed and leave the room.
If they start fussing, wait five minutes to see if they fall asleep before popping your head in the room and giving reassurance.
Sleep Training Toddler: Excuse Me Method
This is a variation of the “take a break” method and is particularly effective if your toddler tends to scream or cry the second you leave the room. However, it will require a higher level of energy from you. As before, rehearse this once or twice during the day so your child knows what to expect.
Go through your bedtime routine, and say good night.
Soon after lights-out, tell your toddler that you need to step out for just a moment to do something. This is where the Excuse-Me Drill name comes from because you say something along the lines of, “Excuse me for a second—I need to check on the dog, baseball score, etc.
Stay out for 30 or 60 seconds (the amount of time they can typically go without getting out of bed). Return and praise your child extravagantly.
A little bit later, step out again for a very brief interval.
On night one, be prepared to do this 20 to 30 times. Every time you come back in, provide the affection and attention that reinforces your child’s courage in being apart from you. On night two, gradually increase the amount of time you spend out of the room and before you know it, the breaks will be longer and longer until your toddler starts to fall asleep without you. Once they can do that for a week, it is mission accomplished!
Sleep Training Toddler: Cry It Out Method
It goes without saying that this is usually a last resort for parents, not least because the sound of a screaming child doesn’t exactly arouse joy. If you have a particularly determined child, the above methods may not work because they know in the end that you will continue to keep coming back to them.
With the cry it out method, you don’t re-enter the room, no matter how much they cry. Instead, you’ll only pop your head in the doorway to say, “You’re okay, I love you.”
Some variations of this method include returning at set intervals or gradually increasing the length of time between leaving and returning to reassure your child.
There’s no point in sugarcoating how rough hearing them cry will be, but it will likely work more quickly than the above methods if done correctly. At the end of the day, the most sleep-resistant toddlers may cry or scream for hours. But for this approach to work you can’t give in or else they’ll learn that crying longer and harder is how to get what they want.
